I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
did you just send me my own nude
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
