woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
