you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
