All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
