i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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