so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
