quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
FUCK WHALES
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
