He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
