Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
