Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
