I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm bleeding and have questions
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
