Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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