dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
