Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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