idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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