P.S. I can't hear my feet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
