he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
