It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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