cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
