No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
