There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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