Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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