so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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