I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
