areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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