I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would fuck him just for his dog
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
