The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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