if you like me you must not know who I am
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
