I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
