"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this beer tastes like vomit already
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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