do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
