I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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