Sponge bath it is.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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