I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
