Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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