I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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