bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
