She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
