Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
