I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
