just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the gays at disneyland are vicious
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
