She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
