have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
