It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
