He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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