my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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