There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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