I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
