Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
