...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Randomize
