we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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