just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
